From Grasping to Grounded

Three years, one space, and a completely different way of showing up

There’s something about returning to the same space at different points in your life.

This past weekend, I made the conscious choice to attend my local Holistic Expo: a space filled with practitioners, healers, and creatives offering everything from energy work and intuitive readings to handcrafted items, crystals, and sound-based healing.

And standing there, I couldn’t help but think…

Three years ago, I was in a completely different place. Emotionally, mentally, physically. Truly.

I came as a vendor.

You see, I had just finished my goddess yoga training and breathwork certification. I felt this pull to share myself - to promote, to create, to build something of my own.

And at the same time…

I was searching.

Trying things on. Exploring crystals, different modalities, different ways to create income.

Looking for where I fit.

And if I’m being honest…there was a level of grasping in it.

A seeking that came from wanting things to work…wanting to feel stable…wanting to feel like I was doing it “right.”

Last year, when I went to the Holistic expo, I was tired.

That version of me didn’t go to connect or be seen.

She went to receive.

And that was exactly what I needed.

But this year felt different.

Not because everything is magically figured out.

Not because I suddenly have all the answers.

But because something in me has shifted.

I walked in grounded.

Not trying to prove anything.

Not trying to find “the next thing.”

Just… open.

Open to conversations.

Open to connection.

Open to seeing what naturally unfolded.

And it did.

I found myself moving through the space, talking with people I’ve collaborated with, people I’m currently connected to, and people I was just meeting for the first time.

And it all felt… easy.

Real.

There was no pressure to perform.

No underlying panic.

No “am I doing enough?”

Just presence.

At one point, someone asked if I had a booth.

And I said no.

And there was no stickiness around it.

No comparison.

No spiral.

No “should I be further along?”

Just a simple truth:

“I’m here to connect. To support. To be part of this.”

And that’s when I really saw it.

The growth.

Because yes, on the outside, a lot has changed over the past three years.

But the bigger shift?

Has been internal.

I’m not moving from that same searching energy anymore.

That survival-mode feeling of trying to figure it all out,

grasping for clarity, for direction, for something to land.

And I can still feel that version of me.

I can relate to her so deeply.

Because when you’re in it… it’s real.

But now?

Things feel lighter.

More attainable.

Not necessarily in a “look at the numbers” kind of way…

but in a I can see the breadcrumbs kind of way.

I trust myself more.

It didn’t happen overnight.

And do I still question things?

Of course.

But it’s different now.

It’s not that panicky, urgent energy anymore.

It’s quieter.

More grounded.

More rooted in my heart.

And honestly…

It’s a little hard to fully put into words.

But I know it when I feel it.

If you’ve ever been in that space of searching…

of trying things on…

of wondering if you’re doing it “right”…

or if you’re starting to feel that shift into something more grounded, more trusting…

I’d genuinely love to hear.

Because I have a feeling I’m not the only one who’s walked this path.

With Love,

Jess